From rivalry to genuine connection
“That’s mine!” – “You’re first again!” – “Mumaa, he’s got…!”
Sibling fights are part of everyday life for many parents – and often difficult to put up with.
But what seems like endless friction is actually a stage: for development, for finding identity and for bonding.
Because siblings are not natural enemies – but relationship partners for life.
🔍 Why do siblings actually argue?
Children fight for closeness, attention and belonging. If they feel that they are not seen as equals, competition arises.
So it’s often not about the toy at all – but about the question: Am I just as important as my brother or sister?
The more secure a child feels in their position, the less they have to fight.
❤️ What strengthens the sibling bond?
- Avoid comparisons:
“Your sister can already do that…” is poison for the relationship. Every child is unique – and is allowed to feel that way. - Create one-on-one time:
Children need moments when they have you all to themselves. 10 conscious minutes a day often work wonders. - Encourage cooperation, not competition:
Create joint tasks – “You two are the clean-up team today!” – instead of “Who’s faster?”. - Accompany feelings instead of judging arguments:
“You’re really angry because you feel ignored” is more helpful than “Now stop arguing!”. - Don’t force sibling love:
Trust grows through time, not coercion. Closeness is created through genuine encounters, not through well-intentioned appeals.
💡 Important: Sibling bonding needs guidance
Children learn how to interact with each other – just like they learn how to walk.
We are their role models. And the way we deal with conflicts, boundaries and emotions also shapes the way they interact with each other.
